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Fluency #5 - Revising My Own Writing |
Subject Matter:
Elementary, Writing
Grades:
1
Software Application:
StarOffice Writer, or any word processing program
Summary:
Given a prompt or free choice writing, students will create a piece of writing to revise. Using the skills learned in the previous sentence fluency lessons (combining sentences, eliminating run-ons, and varying sentence beginnings) students will revise their writing for sentence fluency.
State & National Standards:
CO- Colorado Academic Standards
• Subject : Reading and Writing
• Standard 2: Students write and speak for a variety of purposes and audiences
Writing and speaking are essential tools for learning, for success in the workplace, and for responsible citizenship. Developing a range of writing and speaking abilities requires extensive study, practice, and thinking. Students need frequent opportunities to write and speak for different audiences and purposes, and they need to be able to communicate expressively, informatively, and analytically. Growth in writing and speaking abilities occurs by applying skills to increasingly challenging communication tasks
• Grade/Level : CO- Colorado Academic Standards
• Grade/Level : Grades K-4
Performance Indicator : generating topics and developing ideas for a variety of writing and speaking purposes (for example, telling a story, publishing a class newsletter, writing a letter to an adult, writing or orally presenting a book report, creating and producing a play, introducing a speaker or an event, narrating a presentation);
Performance Indicator : organizing their speaking and writing
Performance Indicator : choosing vocabulary that communicates their messages clearly and precisely
Performance Indicator : revising and editing speech and writing
Performance Indicator : creating readable documents with legible handwriting or word processing at the appropriate time• Standard 3: Students write and speak using conventional grammar, usage, sentence structure, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling
Students need to know and be able to use standard English. Proficiency in this standard plays an important role in how the writer or speaker is understood and perceived. All skills in this standard are reinforced and practiced at all grade levels and should be monitored by both the teacher and student to develop lifelong learning skills
• Grade/Level : CO- Colorado Academic Standards
• Grade/Level : Grades K-4
Performance Indicator : knowing and using subject/verb agreement
Performance Indicator : knowing and using correct modifiers
Performance Indicator : knowing and using correct capitalization, punctuation, and abbreviations
Performance Indicator : spelling frequently used words correctly using phonics rules and exceptions
Local Standards:
Adams 12 Technology Standard 2: Student uses productivity software as a basis for learning and skill building, and demonstrates an understanding of the universal tools of word processing.
- begins to use special function keys: enter/return, space bar, shift, delete and backspace
- locates letters, numbers and ending punctuation characters
- knows how to make capital letters using the shift key.
- uses the backspace/delete key to edit text.
Lesson Outcomes:
Students will be able to write a paragraph of several sentences. They will be able to highlight the beginning word of each sentence and determine whether or not the beginnings are varied. In addition, they will be able to revise the sentences by changing the sentence structure and combining or breaking up sentences in order for the paragraph to read more fluently.
Assessment:
This is the fifth and final lesson in the Sentence Fluency Unit. The attached rubric will be used to evaluate students' paragraphs.
Student Prerequisites:
Students will need basic word processing skills, and should have completed the first four lessons in the Sentence Fluency Unit, as well as Lessons 1-4 of the Conventions Unit.
Lesson Preparation:
Continue to expose the students to the trait of fluency through read-aloud experiences, discussions, teacher modeling and shared examples. Review with students the concepts learned in Lessons 1-4 of the Fluency Unit.
Time Frame:
2 class periods. 30 Min. per class.
Implementation Steps:
Day One:
1. Students write a paragraph of three or more sentences, either to a prompt or a topic of their own choosing. Students with basic word processing skills should be able to do this directly into the computer.
2. Students highlight the beginning word of each sentence to determine if the sentence beginnings are varied.
3. Students save and print their work.
4. At the end of this session, the teacher models the revision process on a piece of his/her own writing, or uses the sample provided under Lesson Resources.
5. Back in the classroom, students conference with a partner or small group to get ideas for sentence fluency revisions.
Day Two:
6. Using the writing from the previous day, students revise their paragraphs by combining sentences, changing the sentence structure or breaking up run-on sentences. Students type the revised version underneath the rough draft.
7. Students print a final copy.
8. Teacher should provide time for a whole group, small group, or pair share of students' paragraphs.
Lesson Resources:
Attached is the example I used for first grade.
Attachments:
Product(s) Description:
The attached sample shows the rough draft and the revised student paragraph.
Attachments:
Comments:
I would model this lesson and have students revise on an as-needed basis. After doing the previous four sentence fluency lessons, many students had already varied their sentence beginnings. They had also written quite long pieces and it did not make sense for them to retype the entire piece. However, I felt it was too difficult a skill for first graders to be moving text and changing it within a piece.
Next time I might ask them to find one part of their paragraph that they want to revise and type that underneath the actual paragraph. On the second day, many of my students typed their piece over again exactly as they had the first day. I have found that revising is a difficult skill for first grade students to do on their own work. They do much better revising other work.
When we write a paragraph or story, we should make sure our sentences are fluent, not short and choppy, and that they begin in different ways. We should also be sure we don't have any run-on sentences.
Example:
I went out to dinner last night. I went with my family. I asked the waitress to bring everyone a huge class of water. Sally spilled her water first and then Gary spilled his water a few minutes later and then John spilled his water right after that. I looked at the wet mess and sighed.
Revised:
Last night I went out to dinner with my family. The waitress brought everyone a huge glass of water. First, Sally spilled her water. A few minutes later, Gary spilled his. Right after that, John spilled his. What a wet mess!
Writing and Revising Your Own Paragraph
Name: Student Sample
Write a paragraph about something that happened to you. When you are finished, highlight the first word in each sentence. Then revise your paragraph by using varied sentence beginnings. Be sure your paragraph does not have short, choppy sentences or run-ons.
My Paragraph:
Ouns I was playing with my friend Zackree. We were playing tag. He was chasing me when I was on my bick. He tagged me. I scraped my knee. My mom heard me say owchs. She poot a bandade on it.
My Paragraph Revised:
Once I was playing tag with my friend Zackree. He was chasing me when I was riding my bike. He tagged me. My mom heard me say ouch when I scrapped my knee, so she put a bandaid on it.
Developed under a grant from Sun Microsystems, Inc. Open Gateways at Mountain View
Elementary School by Steve Gandy, Technology Coordinator - mountain.adams12.org/TISS
© 2003